


Humans Are Predictable That Way

by overused_underrated



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Beelzebub (Good Omens), Angel Wings, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Non-Binary Character, Fluff and Angst, God Starts Over, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Nice Gabriel (Good Omens), Nonbinary Character, Other, Quote: I'm the Archangel Fucking Gabriel (Good Omens), Sappy Gabriel (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 16:43:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21431437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overused_underrated/pseuds/overused_underrated
Summary: NaNoWriMo - Day 13After the apocalypse didn't happen, time raged on. Even though the Horsemen didn't ride and Armageddon didn't come to fruition, the world (Heaven and Hell included) had limited time left. When it finally ran out, She decided to try again. What good is history if you don't learn from your mistakes? God returns the world to the way it was- Angels and Eden. But those who had fallen remember all too much. Beelzebub struggles with this new life, haunted by the ghosts from their past...
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Gabriel & Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Kudos: 44





	Humans Are Predictable That Way

Beelzebub was sitting on the edge of the gate watching Adam and Eve frolic through the garden. They smiled, laughed; their bodies shone bright under the blazing sun. It was just the same as it had been before. Beelzebub didn’t venture upstairs much after The Fall, but they remembered how it was when the angels were building it. Crowley created the stars in the evening sky, Aziraphale worked diligently on the flowers, Ligur helped Hastur create the fruit trees and skyline. It had been so nice, but that was a long time ago... 

Adam and Eve were venturing deeper, creeping closer to the heart of the garden. To the root of the problem. It was like being in a car crash, seconds before collision. That moment when it’s too late to stop it, and there’s nothing to do but brace for impact. Beelzebub was holding their breath, waiting for the sound of broken glass. 

“There’s nothing you can do, Beez..” 

A hand found its place on their shoulder. “ _ Don’t  _ touch me.” they hissed. Just as it had appeared, the hand disappeared. Beelzebub could sense his presence; feel him squatting down to join them. They abandoned the “first” humans and turned to their visitor, “What do you want, Gabriel?” 

He shrugged beside the angel. “I was looking for you...didn’t expect to find you  _ here _ .”

They rolled their eyes. “Where else would I be? It’s not like I have an office to return to...” Beelzebub turned back to Adam and Eve. There they were, at the Tree of Knowledge. Gabriel watched with Beelzebub as Eve gently plucked an apple from a branch, bringing it close to her lips. She smelled it before taking the a bite. Eve smiled and handed it to Adam, who followed her lead. Beelzebub shook their head.

“You knew it was going to happen. We all knew…” Had Gabriel not been warned already, he would have reached out to Beelzebub. 

They were not looking for sympathy. Instead, they were angry. Beelzebub spat, “But why?? Why did She have to start again?! Why did  _ they _ have to...” They shook their head in desperation. This had all been done before. Why was She making everyone go through the ringer from the beginning?

Gabriel ignored his warning and found their shoulder blade. “Beez...you saw how it ended. She’s giving them, giving  _ us, _ a second chance. Do you really want to fall, again?” The former prince found the angel’s hand with their own. Beelzebub’s wings were exposed; they were small compared to most, but they shimmered ivory and were pristine as porcelain. The heat from Gabriel’s hand brought along phantom pains from the sulfur pits, as well as the smell of the blistering, smoldering, wretched flames. They shuddered at the thought. 

“No…” they said, longingly. “But that’s not the point, Gabriel.” Their voice was practically pleading. “What good is it, starting over? Same Adam. Same Eve. Same apple!  _ We  _ know how it ends…” Beelzebub couldn’t bring themselves to look at Gabriel. Tears pooled in their eyes, but they were too proud to let them fall. 

Gabriel squeezed Beelzebub’s shoulder gently before letting go. “Well...humans are predictable that way. Just as  _ She _ intended.” He scooched closer, forcing himself in their peripheral view. “It’s an easy way to get the ball rolling…” 

Beelzebub balled their fists tightly. “Why couldn’t She just...end it all?” Their pride wasn’t enough to stop the tears. This was all too much. 

Gabriel frowned. His voice was soft and full of care, “How bad was it?”

Beelzebub clenched their jaw. This was not a conversation they wanted to have with anyone, let alone with Gabriel right after the second fall of man. They turned slightly to the archangel, face red and wet. “I was the Prince of Hell...what do you think? I was never meant to have a kind death.” It didn’t matter what Gabriel thought could have happened, nothing came close to the tormented truth. Beelzebub had one of the most painful and obscene deaths on either side. 

Beelzebub let out a heavy, painful sigh. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore...seeing as there is no more Hell.” They allowed themselves a small laugh; it was the first time in over seven thousand years that Gabriel had heard that laugh. “Gabe...what do you think is going to happen without Hell? Without demons?” They paused, afraid of their final question. “Do...you think some angels will fall, again? This time around?”

Gabriel nodded his head, understanding the curious nature of the angel. “I’ll be honest...I don’t know. I hope not, but...that doesn’t mean anything.”

Beelzebub shook their head, “No! It does…”

Gabriel tilted his head in surprise. “Really?”

“Of course it does...you’re the Archangel-Fucking-Gabriel,” Beelzebub laughed. Gabriel laughed with them. This, their dynamic, was a long forgotten memory. Beelzebub cracked a smile, “I’m getting that on business cards for you.”

Gabriel laughed for the second time in the last hundred years. “You’re gonna have to wait a couple thousand years, first…”

“Ok...you’re worth the wait.” Pink crept onto Gabriel’s cheeks. They both knew Beelzebub wasn’t just talking about the joke (although, if Hell were to be reestablished, Beelzebub would  _ absolutely _ take a weekend away from Hell to make and send Gabriel personalized business cards). 

Gabriel’s brain stopped working for a second before he regained his composure. “Beelzebub…”

“Don’t.” The words came quickly from their mouth, like the crack of a whip.  Beelzebub looked at the archangel, directly into his eyes. “Don’t you dare say it. You’ve had time. Seven thousand years. Don’t go back that far, Gabriel just...be here. Now.” Beelzebub offered their hand, and Gabriel gladly took it. “So...now what?”

Gabriel smiled in delight. “Well, Adam and Eve will be kicked out of the garden soon, then I believe the forecast calls for rain.” 

Beelzebub smiled. “I haven’t felt the rain in so long...would you stay with me for it?” 

The angel smiled and squeezed their hand. “Whatever you’d like, my Fly.”


End file.
